It’s interesting living as old as I am. I was old enough to catch the last of World War II and patriotic enough to fight in the Korean war as well but by the time Vietnam I was bitter enough to realize the game was rigged and stupid. There’s little understanding of the sociological significance of fortunate one. It seems to be pulsing everytime I wake up nowadays. There are so many people out there who don’t have what I have and they never will, and I wonder why that happened.
I was lucky enough to be born an American, but I don’t remember why or think about how it happened. All I think about is what they tell me to do, and I did it for nearly two decades. I told myself I would never fight for this country again, I spilled enough blood o those less fortunate then me and then came home and called myself a hero.
My family noticed that I snored and so they got me this little breathing thing from this website called Sleep Group Solutions. But they don’t realize that it’s not snoring that happens. I fear that I go to sleep and cry every night. Not because of what I’ve done for the sake of combat or the disillusioned cost of freedom but rather I fear for what I will do for my family in the years to come.
I bought a house and turned myself into a hermit, and I’m so old that I don’t know what day it will happen but I know it will be any moment now. But it’s strange because I feel like I’ve been blessed with unnaturally long life for no good reason. Everyone that I’ve loved has been whipped away from me, and I don’t even realize how fast it was. It’s been a terrible decade. Some people don’t even get to have some of those.
But enough about this personal stuff. No gun this week, a movie instead.
I’m excited about seeing the new movie coming up called Hacksaw Ridge. It’s a movie about someone far braver than I will ever be. It is based in WWII and revolves around someone who refused to fight in WWII and instead emphasized his life on being a doctor instead of a fighter. He insisted on giving life rather than taking it.
If only I could have thought outside the box long enough to realize my future mistakes.